Thursday, June 30, 2011

rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb

I made Strawberry Rhubarb pie today because I was woozy on blood loss and it seemed like the right thing to do.

We have two patches of rhubarb in our garden, one of which is around the side of the house. Right in the centre was an extra long red stalk jutting out just above the rest, with a huge leaf the size of a pizza hanging off it. I grasped the stalk and pulled.

Nothing. I glanced around to make sure no one could see me and yanked as hard as I could.

Nothing. It felt like I was pulling on Excalibur.

I planted my feet firmly on the cement sidewalk, gripped both hands around the stalk, threw all my weight behind it and--

Fell. On my ass. Without the stalk.

I scrambled up, brushed off the dirt, and glared at the stupid red vegetable. Fruit. Fuck.

And that's how I got beaten up by rhubarb.

I win because I cut it.