This is what happens when I go unsupervised.

- Get off at the wrong bus stop because apparently there are two 148th streets.
- Spend half an hour walking through the suburbs looking for a shopping mall.
- Realize a shopping mall is unlikely to be located in suburbia.
- Find the other 148th street, find the mall, only to remember I'm a broke-ass student.
- Head back to bus stop.
- Realize student ID card (with Upass) has fallen out of pocket.
- Panic.
- Power-walk back to mall, frantically scanning the sidewalk with big bug-eyes.
- Panic some more.
- Spot student ID card on the other side of the street, at the corner of an intersection.
- Sprint towards it without checking traffic.
- Narrowly avoid getting smushed into pavement by red car.
- Snatch up student ID card.
- Skip home.

This is my list of words that make me happy.

whimsical.
unfathomable.
knackered.
fisticuffs.
kthxbye.
shifty.
kerfuffle.
audacity.
fruity.
the wiggins.
neon.
mischievous.
quirky.
snicker.
indignant.
shuck.
topsy-turvy.
whippersnapper.
squelch.
fruit loop.
lickety-split.
persnickety.
snark.
eight.
quibble.
wicked.
newfangled.
scowl.
snickerdoodle.
cheesy.
cowabunga.
frolic. h
anky panky.
doofus.
guffaw.
smug.
douse.
bicker.
hullabaloo.
spunky.
buffoonery.
smidgen.
tousled.

Someday, I will announce my intention to engage in fisticuffs. And then I will giggle madly and get beaten up but it will be worth it.

Three Things That Are Maybe Not Really Related

1) The other day I went on a treasure hunt to find an art show. We had to ask for directions though because the gallery was hidden in a convenience store and who looks in a convenience store for an art show?

2) My friend and I went dress shopping in a cute little boutique with swaths of tulle and beading and satin in the window.

Except I had a problem. This cute little boutique insists that people take their shoes off at the door. No! I don't want to take my shoes off, this is a store not a living room!

That lasted until I noticed the darling white and pink cocktail dress in the other window. Then we hunkered inside and slipped our shoes off. Well, my friend slipped her shoes off and I leaned against the doorframe and heaved my boots off. There was some grunting involved. And then, my mismatched socks were on display.

One had red and white polka dots and the other was olive green with little green tuffs all over.

Whoops.

3) I began reading Confessions of A Pioneer Woman yesterday. It's written by a city girl (like me!) who loves high heels and Starbucks (like me!) who married a rancher and lives on a farm (like...oh). She wrote a novel on how she met and married her husband and posted the entire thing on her blog. As of 1:48am this morning, I have read the entire thing. Can't wait for the movie.

I read it because she's funny and weird and because I wanted to understand how exactly she went from city girl to wife of a rancher. And because I know there's a happy ending. There's nothing worse than a quirky start with a weepy ending.

I'm looking at you, Jon and Kate.

3 Things That Scare Me At School

1) The Army guys that buy Tim Hortons in the school cafe wearing head to toe neon camoflage (way to blend in, guys!). There aren't any military classes at my school. Where do they come from??

2) Push/Pull Doors. Fuck you, push/pull doors. You make me look really dumb. I'm walking along, feeling chic and adultish in my new black boots with my Calc textbook in my arms and my cell pressed to my ear as I check my voicemail and I push on the door and--nothing.

Nothing because you are a pull door and now I am neither chic nor adult, and you mock me with your giant rectangular PULL sign. Meanwhile, in the split second of nothing, twenty students have lined up behind me and each one is judging me and my lack of chicness and adultness when clearly, it is all your fault.

3) The Science chapter in my Calculus textbook. First off, Calc Textbook, why is there a violin on your cover? That is false advertisement. There is neither a violin nor violin music in you and I'm sick of getting my hopes up.

Secondly, your subject is Calculus. Math. So why the Science chapter? You know "sodium chlorate crystals" and "escherichia coli in a nutrient-broth medium" scare and confuse me (unless a nutrient-broth is Campbell's chicken noodle soup). Now I'm hungry. Look what you've done! Not  cool, Calculus textbook, not cool.

Top 25 Reasons Why I Have Faith In You

(Plus Three More Because I Couldn’t Choose Which Ones to Cut)

1) You’re pursuing your dream.

2) You’re still nice to Stephanie even after all the drama she put you through.

3) You listened to me sniffle and sob on the phone and didn’t tell me to quit being such an diva.

4) You pretend to not think blogging is uber-lame (and I appreciate that).

5) You tell me all the writing I send you is fantastic which tells me you know when lying is for the best (and I appreciate that too).

6) You know what you believe in and that doesn’t change because of other people’s opinions.

7) You’ve never yelled at me. Well you’ve yelled, but never angrily, and happy yelling is totally cool by me.

8) You talked me through a really awful time, even though I was vague and random and you didn’t really know what was going on it and possibly still don’t. In other words, your ability to wing it is unparalleled.

9) You work so friggin’ hard (no seriously, you should stop, you’re making me look bad).

10) You make friends with authority figures rather than resenting them on principle and that’s why you’re going to be famously successful and I’m going to scribble rants in pencil in a corner somewhere with all the blinds closed when I’m not Facebook stalking you.

11) You tell me to go study because that’s in my best interest, even when I don’t want to hear it (I appreciate that too).

12) You don’t take advantage of your influence over me, like if you convinced me that, seriously, rainbow hair is totally in right now. ‘Cause I’d probably do it if you said so.

13) You laugh at yourself therefore your awesomeness, if it was on y-axis, would have a vertical asymptote with a positive slope.

14) You laugh at my stupid math references (and I appreciate that).

15) You never belittled my attempts at composing even though yours were way cooler.

16) You are the most intelligent person I know. You also coo and use babytalk while playing with cats. This affects your awesomeness. See #13.

17) You have cringe-inducing spelling. This proves you are not a robot. Also, characters without flaws are booooring—I learned that in the class you told me to study for, see #11—so this makes you intriguing.

18) You welcomed me and Sarah into your hotel room on our first band trip, even though we were puny grade eights and you were grade nine.

19) You think you’re fat. This proves you are not a robot. See #17. Not being a robot affects your awesomeness. See #13.

20) You didn’t ditch me when I was dorky and still thought purses were a waste of space.

21) You and I won every single district debate we ever entered (except that one, but that’s because the judge was not aware of how limitless parliamentary style is, pfft).

22) You ordered whip cream at Starbucks with me and it was awesome. See #13.

23) You’re beautiful; society and America’s Next Top Model have convinced me that beautiful people will go far.

24) You support my Post-It addiction.

25) Your courage astounds me.

26) You still think “that’s what she said” jokes are funny.

27) You make me miss you. I don’t tell people that, which shows how awesome you must be to be the exception. See #13.

28) You’re the Meredith to my Cristina. Unless you think you’re Cristina, but Meredith gets the guy so my way’s more logical.

Fictional and Mystical

Here are three unrelated totally related posts:

1) Fog

Fog is cloud that couldn't be bothered to float 'cause it's that goddamn lazy. But last week I was on the skytrain going over the bridge and all of a sudden, we went from foggy to omigod milk! The windows were completely white. It was like someone had suddenly put up curtains between two stations. I was straining to try to see water, or at least the other bridge, when I saw towers. On top of clouds. Like a kingdom. In the sky. In the real world.

So it was actually two skyscrapers that happened to rise slightly above the fog. But I don't care. I saw Narnia.

2) My Geography Professor (the one who taught me that fog is caused by a large amount of QE but I don't care because it has mystical powers anyway)

Her name is Wendy. She's super cool. She makes rocks and latent energy seem less mindblowing dull. And she has this sweater with big black sleeves that looks like a cape and reminds me of the professors at Hogwarts. They flap when she moves but instead of looking ominous and way too early for Halloween, she looks like Professor McGonagall twenty years younger.

By association, that makes me Ginny Weasley.

3) The Dangers of Carpetting

I wore heels to school yesterday and for the first time all semester (it only happened once last year), the elevator in the parkade was out of order. Which meant I had to walk up three flights of stairs. Three! In heels! I was wearing little black booties and since the heels have worn right down to the metal, they sound like tap shoes. I don't click, I tap. It's not the sound I was going for but now I really want to own a pair of tap shoes so I can tap legitimately. Also so I can look at a dance floor and say, "I'd tap that."

As I was heading to Calculus, humming AVPM's To Dance Again, I turned down the North corridor and suddenly, no tap! Carpetting everywhere! All the pain of squished toes and popped blisters and people couldn't even hear me coming!

How is this related to fictional, mystical places thereby making this not just a misplaced rant?

Uhh... If I were to create a fictional, mystical place, part of the mysticism would be in the non-carpetted flooring.

See what I did there? Three totally related posts :D

Things I LOVE but never noticed until I saw the DVD of HMS Pinafore!

5- How the line of men was totally and utterly obliterated every time the girls burst through
4- Sir Joseph's tights. I don't think I ever actually noticed them before, but they are white and he is proud
3- How the Captain patted Dick Deadeye on the head like a dirty but well-behaved dog
2- The audience's delayed, scandalous laughter after Josephine sang "and a tar who ploughs the daughter" (instead of "and a tar who ploughs the water")
1- The hornpipe a la male chorus, I'm impressed, no wonder no one ever looked at us girls even though we were the ones singing

And my absolute oh-my-god-how-did-I-never-notice-this-in-real-life:
- How when the girls ran to Sir Joseph, the Captain got frightened and ran away

:)

People who smile real big

1) Tonight was our very last rehearsal of HMS Pinafore. That's it, no more. Just tech and dress in the theatre, and then we have a hundred people watching us prace around in heavy skirts and hairspray and foundation half an inch thick.

2) I made the lime cookies today. They were essentially limey shortbread, but dipped in icing sugar, and nothing dipped in icing sugar can be less than delicious.

3) Every time I get a text message, the speakers of my computer squeak. Hehe.