It didn't go off though! That means it worked, right?

I set fire to a yam. Not on purpose, I mean, why would anyone try to set a yam on fire on purpose? I stuck a plate in the microwave with cut up pieces of yam on it and thirty seconds later, a corner of one of the pieces was totally black. Just a tiny little speck. Except that speck reeked of smoke that went straight to the smoke detector directly above the microwave, which made me panic.

You know in stereotypical pagan ceremonies where women dance all naked and "free" and worship the moon? I looked like that, but with clothes on and waving a towel at the smoke detector.

I have a love/hate relationship with bike helmets. I hate them because they're disgustingly ugly, but I love NOT being injured.

One time I rode smack into the back of my dad's pick-up. Another time I tried to do a one-handed maneuver and now I still have the scar on my knee. And one time I rode straight into a telephone pole and chipped my front tooth.

So now that I've been biking again, I've been reluctantly wearing the helmet.

Last week, I fell off my bike, scratched up my legs, got dirt everywhere including inside the handlebars, and broke the chains that attach to the pedals. But I'm okay because I was wearing the friggin' helmet!

I have a thing for talking inanimate objects.

They just make life better, you know?

This one I found outside of the Education wing at school. It's such an Education-major thing to do too, you'd never find it in the Crim wing. We just post newspaper clippings of weird ways to kill people.

Also found at school, the existentialist garbage bin:

This is a legit staircase that legit leads to the Chamber of Secrets. I'm 99% certain. Not 100% though because there's no way in holy hell I'm going down there to find out.

See? Make. Life. Better.